In this article, you’ll learn about what I wrote in my college essays and I will offer my thoughts as to why I think they were successful in the college admission process. 

Click here for part two to learn about my extracurriculars.

What you should know before writing your essays

College essays are extremely important because they’re an opportunity for you to provide a window into your life and contextualize it.

For example, did you excel academically and in other pursuits DESPITE experiencing significant barriers?

The story you ultimately choose to write about must be important and meaningful to you.

There is no right or wrong answer given that all applicants will come from diverse backgrounds and will therefore have different goals and reasons for pursuing a major.

Some applicants choose to write about challenges they faced while others write about experiences that changed their worldview.

Your essays will also help universities determine whether there is a good fit between you and the institution.

My Personal Statement

1 – Parents’ divorce

I chose to write about my parents’ divorce when I was in the sixth grade because it best encapsulates who I am as a person and the journey I have taken.

It was and still is the single most impactful event of my life because at twelve years old I had to fill the void my father left and carry the burden of my family.

It also couldn’t have come at a worse time. 

My youngest brother would be born later that year and my mother would suffer from chronic health issues.

I decided then that I would set aside my life to be the glue that held my family together until things got better.

It was a difficult time for me because I would enter middle school the following year and at a time when I was still trying to discover who I was as a person and my purpose in life.

It was when I really needed my father.

Here’s a passage from my essay:

“My childhood is a chapter of my life that marked a new beginning but also a sad ending. It was 2007, the year my youngest brother was born but also the year my parents divorced. I was twelve when my father left and I was devastated. However, I could not grieve then because the hole left my family in disarray. My mother became chronically ill and my brother would be without a father figure. The household was quickly collapsing and desperately needed a second pillar to support it. This was when I decided to make the ultimate sacrifice: I would set aside my life to fill the shoes my father left behind – ones too big for me to fit – and assume the role as the second parent.”

2 – Struggles with mental health issues

I also wrote about my struggles with mental health issues. 

For a long time, I was consumed by complete darkness and honestly there wasn’t a single thought that hadn’t crossed my mind.

I was still coming to terms with my father’s absence, my newfound role in the family, and the end of my childhood.

I constantly questioned my existence, life purpose, and self-worth. I became depressed and isolated myself – I just wanted to be left alone; to disappear forever.

Here’s a passage from my essay:

“Middle and high school was an extremely difficult time for me. I was envious of my peers for their seemingly “normal” lives. While I carried the burdens of my family, they talked about sleepovers and parties. While I mourned and grieved alone, they talked and laughed with friends. But most of all, I just existed. I lost focus on what was truly important in my life and questioned my sense of purpose. My life felt groundless because my world was failing me.”

3 – Lessons learned and what I’m most proud of

Eventually, I was able to come to terms with my trauma.

While this in no way negates the hurt and grief I endured, I learned that there was more to my life and I still have a story to write.

My scars are a testament to my values and who I am as a person.

Here’s a passage from my essay:

“However, during my bouts of depression, what I never realized was that I wasn’t alone – I have my brother. Throughout my life, he was my strength. He gave me the opportunity to test myself, my resolve, and my will to live. He will always be there to give me his typical clueless smile to remind me that everything would be okay. I understood that there was more to my life and I still have a story to write. My life story and the scars I got along the way are what I am most proud of. Because of them, I learned to never wish for an easier life but for the strength to endure a difficult one. As a result, I evolved into the person I am today: a loving brother, a role model, and a fighter. But most of all, I learned to stop existing and start living.”

4 – Moving forward

Because of my lived experiences, I was able to find my purpose in life.

I want to become a clinical child psychologist to support children who also struggle with grief, depression, and other mental health issues.

Here’s a passage from my essay:

“My journey through mental health issues inspires me every day to be the beacon of hope for all children who struggle with grief and depression, and show them that there is light at the end of the tunnel.”

Why I think my essays worked out well

I’ll be the first to admit that my writing style isn’t the most creative or awe-inspiring. 

But the point of college essays is to clearly and concisely convey your message and life story – and that’s what I did well.

Reason #1 – Stick to your script

First, I stuck to my script and made certain that everything I wrote not only fit this narrative but also built upon it.

It then becomes clear as to why I was pursuing a psychology degree at the time.

A common mistake applicants make is introducing too many ideas that constantly redirect the reader’s attention and take away from the main point.

Reason #2 – Put the reader in your shoes

Second, another strategy I used was including figures of speech and making comparisons to help the readers visualize my story and envision themselves in my shoes (to be in the moment with me).

Here are some examples:

• Carrying family burden likened to wearing a crown of thorns
• Wearing my father’s shoes represented taking over his role
• My life versus “normal” life
• Was the glue that held my family together
• Light at the end of the tunnel symbolized hope

Remember, the more you are able to get your readers to put themselves in your situation, the more likely they are to sympathize with your cause – and that counts for a lot in the admission process.

You need to show them your life through your eyes.

Reason #3 – Give a resolution

Third, I introduced a problem and concluded with a resolution. 

This part is critical because it makes the difference between a story about hope, resilience, and growth versus a “sob story” (and no one wants that). 

Let me be frank: Do not expect to be accepted into any competitive school if your approach is to “cry” your way into it.

For example, while I talked about my family conflict and struggles with mental health issues, the focus was on my mindset and the lessons I learned after the fact.

I wrote about my resilience (pick-myself-back-up attitude) and desire to channel my pain into something that can help children in similar situations.

Keep in mind that “resolution” doesn’t mean a “happy ending” or the end of a conflict. Rather, it is the change in your mindset and how that makes you a better person.

Reason #4 – Emotional satisfaction of your story

The final point is the emotional satisfaction of this story.

This could include themes of growth, resilience, inspiration, curiosity, or lessons learned.

In my case,  I talked about feeling numb and just existing at the beginning of my essay. I didn’t feel like I was going anywhere in life or was going to amount to anything. 

However, I achieved my final resolution with this line: 

“But most of all, I learned to stop existing and start living.”

This is important because I talked about how I was ready to move on with my life meaningfully and intently.

TL;DR

Just in case you missed it…

…here are my tips to write great essays:

• Stick to your script
• Put the reader in your shoes
• Give a resolution
• Emotional satisfaction of your story