Another major mistake to avoid in your college essays is writing about an experience in which its limitations do not justify its minimal benefits.

Many students often fixate on a particular essay idea that they completely miss the unfavorable message and negative connotations it carries.

In this article, you’ll learn why it is important to carefully vet your essay idea and see real examples of students making this mistake.

Note: Information in these examples will be altered to maintain the anonymity of students whose essays I have edited.

Here are some examples

Overview:

• Example #1: Retook an exam with the help of a parent
• Example #2: Focusing on a fixed mindset
• Example #3: Taking a seemingly pro-sweatshops stance
• Example #4: Being well-rounded

Example #1

“I was devastated when I missed my math test because it meant I automatically received a zero and failed it. My mom called my teacher and told her my situation. They were able to come to an agreement and arranged for me to retake a harder version of the test at a later time. I studied hard – day and night – and ultimately aced that exam.”

Key points:

• Got a second chance when no one else did 
• This opportunity was solely based on parent’s initiative
• Failed to demonstrate the basic qualities colleges are looking for

In this case, the student really wanted to use this experience because s/he thought it would highlight their “academic achievement” and “resilience” given that they took a harder version of the test and did well.

While I suppose this is a valid argument, it severely overlooks the broader and much more pressing implications of this example.

First, s/he was given a second chance that no other students got, especially those who could have also benefited from it. This means they got an advantage, which diminishes the value of acing that exam.

But the worse offense is having another person advocate and take initiative on your behalf (read this article to learn more). 

If you recall, this student was only able to retake the exam because of their parent. And nothing screams helicopter/bulldozer parenting and coddled children louder than this.

Remember, the point of college applications is to demonstrate YOUR independence, autonomy, initiative-taking, critical thinking, and problem-solving. This experience undercuts ALL of those.

Example #2

“I want to become a medical doctor because my greatest strength is my compassion and empathy for others, which are not qualities that can be taught but are talents one is born with.”

Key points:

• Focuses on a fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset 
• Discredits all of the effort you put into developing these qualities and/or skills

The negative implications of this example are more subtle than the previous one but the issue here is the student discounts the effort s/he invested to become the compassionate and empathetic person they are today. 

(These are NOT innate qualities and are actually developed over time!)

Suggesting that one must be born with something to be successful implies a fixed mindset, which has the unintended consequence of disincentivizing future efforts to improve and refine those skills.

One of the things colleges look for among applicants is a growth mindset because these students are more likely to be resilient in the face of adversity, learn from failure, succeed academically, and thrive in a college environment.

Related: Check out this article on the differences between the two types of mindset.

Example #3

“‘No children should ever work in sweatshops.’ I remember how angry I felt when one of my classmates uttered these ignorant words. What he didn’t understand was that many people in developing countries depend on these jobs to survive and this sentiment comes from a first-world perspective that lacks understanding and sensitivity.”

Key points:

• Takes a seemingly pro-sweatshops position
• Not considering your audience (or their laws)
• Not a slam-dunk argument (controversial)
• Supports a system that would perpetuate human exploitation

This example is not likely to do well in US colleges because such a position is a non-starter and is a losing argument.

While some people may feel strongly one way or the other, the vast majority of Americans disagree with the premise of this argument.

Of course, this is not a reflection of its validity or merits, per se, but rather the audience you must convince.

The United States has one of the toughest labor laws in the world and bans the operation of sweatshops so whether you agree with this policy or not is unimportant.

What matters is the message you convey and NO colleges in the US (or in MOST countries) will stand within six feet of a seemingly pro-sweatshops position.

Keep in mind that sweatshops are by definition an ILLEGAL form of work given that employees are often exploited with little pay and dangerous working conditions. 

They also violate basic human rights and typically target the most vulnerable people (ex: those living in poverty, women, children).

It’s perfectly fine to have first-hand experience working in sweatshops and using it as the basis of your essay to demonstrate your resilience, resourcefulness, etc. 

But what is NOT okay is taking a position that would perpetuate the cycle of exploitation of vulnerable people – or at the very least the continued existence of sweatshops.

A better approach would have been to write about what you’ve done to help end this cycle of abuse (ex: started non-profit, investigative journalism, humanitarian work) and how this has become your life mission.

Example #4

“In high school, I took advantage of every opportunity. I joined the varsity soccer team, debate club, MUN, drama/theater, and student government. I also volunteered for Habitat for Humanity over the weekends and interned at Amazon during my summers. These experiences have helped me develop effective time-management, leadership, and public speaking skills.”

Key points:

• Focuses on being a generalist rather than an expert
• You don’t excel in any particular area
• You don’t stand out from other applicants
• Unclear what your passions or values are

The issue here is the attempt to be well-rounded, which makes it unclear what your values (what is important to you) or passions (what excites you) are. 

You also don’t excel in any particular area. 

This should make sense because you have much LESS time and opportunities for deep learning with five weekly activities, for example, compared to one.

What usually ends up happening to these “well-rounded” students is that they become mediocre in all of their pursuits and blend in with the crowd of other applicants.

Tip: Have a focus. It’s too broad to say “I support social causes.” Instead, focus on something personal like “I support suicide prevention causes because my best friend died of suicide.”

Tip: Stand out by pursuing a passion project or establishing an area of expertise.

Related: Check out this article to learn why you should not be well-rounded.

What you can do

Don’t limit yourself to a single topic idea at the expense of objectivity and be open to other alternatives.

Pitch your topic idea to others. If the consensus is mostly negative or mixed then it might not be a viable option.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Should I remove the whole idea or just some parts?
• Are the benefits substantive?
• Are these benefits good to have or important to have?
• Have I weighed the pros and cons? What was the result?
• Did I consider the other options in good faith?

I get it,  it’s tough to discard an idea you’ve been toiling with for some time but you have to look at the BIGGER PICTURE and do a cost-benefit analysis.

Some things are simply more trouble than it’s worth.