This is the third and final part of common mistakes I have seen students make in their college essays.

In this article, I will explain each mistake and give tips you can use to avoid them.

I will also include real-life examples. However, I will paraphrase them to preserve the anonymity of students whose essays I have edited.

If you haven’t already, here are parts one and two.

Mistake #32: Having gaps in your story

Leaving gaps in your story or introducing new ideas without clear relevance does a disservice to both you and your readers since your message gets lost in the white noise.

The best way to think about this is to imagine a hamburger without meat, lettuce, tomato, or sauce. Most people would be confused if they ordered a full, meaty burger and instead got two buns.

This also applies to essay writing. If you leave out the important stuff or create something else, it becomes harder to follow your story.

What you can do: Keep your story on point and follow a linear path. Use your “zoom” skills (#6) to avoid leaving gaps in your story.

Mistake #33: Rough transitions

Many students treat each paragraph like an isolated block of information, independent of what was mentioned previously, and this often leads to rough and sudden transitions.

Transitions between paragraphs must be smooth and natural. 

Doing so will preserve the flow and readability of your essays otherwise your readers will feel like they are transported to a new place each time you start a new paragraph.

What you can do: Ensure your transitions bridge the ideas between your paragraphs either by supporting or expanding on the points mentioned previously.

Mistake #34: No growth

This mistake happens when students cite a challenge or obstacle they are STILL facing.

Keep in mind that there is a fine line between a “sob story” and a story about growth and resilience.

Of course, there are some exceptions, like struggles with mental health issues or an ongoing life event, but the key is to highlight how you have grown as a person because of it.

Talk about the lessons you learned and how this reflection continues to guide you forward.

Ask yourself these questions:

• What did I learn from this negative experience?
• How did I grow as a person or scholar?
• How do these lessons/reflections continue to make a positive impact on my life?

What you can do: Focus on experiences that are meaningful to you and have made a significant impact on your life. Take us through your actions and thought process. Show us how it’s your strength, not your weakness.

Mistake #35: Sounding bitter about your situation

Similar to the previous point, growth and resilience are some of the most important traits selective colleges look for.

And I would argue that they are more important than objective measures like GPA, class rank, and SAT/ACT scores.

This means, if you come off as resentful or bitter about your life experiences then it shows you didn’t learn anything from them and lack mental toughness (grit).

What you can do: Either don’t choose those prompts or reflect on what you learned from your situation and how it continues to make a positive impact on your life.

Mistake #36: Bragging about doing the bare minimum

Writing about your experiences during campus tours, virtual Q+A sessions, meetings with college representatives, and basic Google research is NOT a flex.

These are the bare minimum that all interested applicants are expected to do – it’s an unspoken rule.

It is also unhelpful to word vomit every single fact you know about the school in your essays. It only shows a superficial interest in the school and poor use of the space you’re given.

What you can do: Don’t mention these things in your college essays. They aren’t worth anything in their eyes and are just a waste of words.

Mistake #37: “Believe-me” writing style

So many students make the mistake of writing generic essays only to end up cramming one-liners that sound good but lack substance.

Here are some examples:

“This was a difficult journey, however, I was able to become the strong and resilient person I am today because of it.”

“I am so grateful for these experiences and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I have grown so much as a person and will carry the values I learned with me for the rest of my life.”

This is the wrong way to approach your college essays because you’re shoving your narrative down your readers’ throats and expect us to accept it at face value. 

You must SHOW your readers, not tell them what you learned. 

Essentially, you’re saying “I learned XYZ just take my word for it,” which is not an effective way to write or persuade others, especially college admission officers.

What you can do: Show your readers what you learned through personal, concrete examples. Show us your life through your eyes. Take us through your actions, thought processes, and reflections.

Mistake #38: It sounds unnatural or cringey

Many students make the mistake of writing college essays in a way they think colleges want rather than what comes naturally to them.

This could mean using words you don’t normally say, writing in a style you’re not experienced with, or focusing on things that aren’t really meaningful to you, which usually results in unnatural and awkward-sounding essays.

Here’s an example:

“…subscription to the pseudo-religious right-wing party, charged with neo-fascist misinformation proxied by their misguided faith.”

This example is a mouthful and gives the obvious impression that s/he is trying too hard to impress admission officers, which doesn’t work in most cases.

Don’t force something to be your answer when it’s not and don’t contort yourself into someone you’re not.

Regardless of whether you’re quirky, enjoy an uncommon past time or have a unique experience, embrace it and talk about those things that make you different.

What you can do: Stay true to yourself and write about something that is actually meaningful to you and one that comes naturally.

Mistake #39: It sounds like “garble”

“Garble” is another term I coined and refers to filler words that sound like you’re saying something but it’s so vague, generic, and insubstantial that it actually means nothing.

Essentially, they’re wasted words.

Here are a few examples:

“This school would give me the skills to think more critically and help me give back to my community. I would also learn a lot from my classmates and gain new perspectives. After graduating, I will be able to apply this knowledge to the real world.”

“I won’t follow the crowd who are not giving their best effort but to follow what I think is right.”

“This experience inspired me to seek more opportunities like this one. I’m will stay curious and find my path towards my dreams. I left the event still affected to this day.”

As you probably noticed, it’s unclear what the point is and that’s the issue. You must write clearly and concisely.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Is my sentence clear and concise?
• Is it specific and relevant to the situation?
• Does it serve a useful purpose?
• Is this the best way I can convey my message?

Use these questions to ensure that you write specifically, concretely, and with precision.

What you can do: Ask yourself the questions above. If it serves no real purpose, remove it. Check out this article to get examples of how to avoid writing these types of sentences.

Mistake #40: Being too casual

While there is flexibility in how you can approach your essays, keep in mind that admission officers will be your reviewers and their assessment will determine whether you are admitted into the school or not so always be professional.

Things you should avoid:

• Side comments – ex: “I ate the burrito (best thing of my life)”
• Text talk – ex: “haha”
• Inner monologue – ex: “My mom took my phone away (crazy right?)”
• Trying to be funny – ex: “I told my brother ‘I’ll be back’ (imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice)”

These are just a few examples but you get the general idea of what NOT to say.

There is a fine line between creative freedom and being too casual.

What you can do: Explore your creativity but always remember who your readers are.

Mistake #41: It sounds like you’re narrating your resume

Your college essays serve as the canvas on which you paint your life story and the journey you have taken so you must show us your life through your eyes.

Unfortunately, many students instead write it as if they’re narrating their resume – and I don’t blame them because high-quality essays are hard to write. 

However, the line between talking about your life versus your resume is a subtle but critical one. 

Keep in mind that ALL of your extracurriculars will already be in your college application so there is really no need to list them all again.

Dig deep and think about what motivates you to do the things you want to do. Reflect on your reasons and experiences and choose the most personal one.

What you can do: You must add a personal touch. Pick one meaningful experience that is related to the prompt and reflect on them in-depth. Everything else is just a distraction/redirection (#10).

Mistake #42: It sounds like you’re giving a lecture

For some reason, many students use their college essays as an opportunity to flex their knowledge about the school or a topic they are familiar with.

Here’s an example:

“I look forward to being a student at the MIT School of Engineering. I can imagine passing through its building, which was established in 1932 under President Karl Taylor Compton. It is also the largest of MIT’s five schools.”

“Interning at the White House had a major impact on my life. The United States of America is separated into three branches of government: the executive, legislative, and judicial. The White House represents the executive branch, which includes the President, Vice President, and cabinet. The role of the executive branch is to execute laws passed by Congress.”

The information provided in both examples is not only irrelevant but it serves no purpose.

Remember, your goal is to provide the minimum amount of information needed to understand your story. These details need to either support or expand on a previous point you mentioned.

What you can do: If you need to explain a concept, do it clearly and concisely without disrupting the flow and readability of your essay.